Our friend and fellow healer Emmanuel sent out an “Energy Forecast” about the huge & powerful ‘waves of light’ energy that are “pouring into every cell & fiber of the earth”. He summarizes how this wave of light “stirs up & brings everything that no longer serves us to the surface”. I have been experiencing this.
Today it became crystal to clear to me where these negative triggers come from. They begin with my perceptions. I have been contemplating why I really just don’t want to do anything but what I want to do. I could candy-coat it and say something else, but honestly the truth is I have a ‘lazy button’ because of my perceptions or ‘take on things’….and the kicker is that it becomes an uncontrollable loop; I don’t want to do anything, that I don’t want to do; then when I really want to do something, I fail to because the ‘get up and move’ button has atrophied.
How sad, tragic & comical at the same time. This has been a pattern of mine for many years now. Most would say that this is a state of depression. Honestly, to quote a cliché – ‘been there, done that’. Besides at this stage in the game, I really do not possess the commitment to be categorized as a depressed person.
Back to perceptions; in taking the time to really look at myself with a high-powered mirror, I see this all stems from my thoughts. I have been taking ‘thought inventories’ for the last 24 hours and these suckers are enough to sideline anybody. I am really shocked at the thoughts that go through my mind on a daily basis. On a few occasions, I had to talk myself back from the edge! It is as if I abandoned myself in these moments.
For example, my boyfriend got up & went in the other room to listen to jazz. After he departed the room, I put together 5 different scenarios of why he left the room & they all had to do with me being the problem. Now, that is just plain silly thinking & some may say I have too much time on my hands – but even in the throes of work, I get distracted by these types of dastardly thoughts. Maybe he got up to go into the other room because he wanted to go listen to jazz – PERIOD. Nothing more, nothing less.
Why did I decide to make a soap opera out of it? – because my perception of myself is skewed. I felt unworthy of his company. Once I told my mind to stop, erase that tape, I then consciously began to think positive thoughts about myself. Thoughts more in alignment with who I truly am & growing into. By focusing on the good in myself I was able to change my perception of the situation. Once I was able to change my perception, I was then able to move forward & get some things done.
Most of the time, this type of behavior winds up ‘taking me out of the game’ because I react from my thoughts and wind up looking foolish or just destroying an innocent moment. I guess we all have our pathologies!
What I described is just a small example of an avalanche of thoughts that can derail us on a somewhat regular basis. So if you find yourself dragging your feet and failing to get things done in timely fashion you may want to check your perception & thoughts for their worthiness quotient. The marvelous thing is that you can heal yourself. Once we step out of denial and admit that we no longer want to carry whatever behaviors are bogging us down, we can then see through the shame, take action and move forward. Also, by learning to forgive ourselves we can then ‘pick up the pace’ on our path of self-healing & awareness.
An article written by Jolé Morton for Soul Connect