Most of us would define ourselves as mature adults, usually in control of our emotions. Then something happens and we surprise ourselves at how quickly and thoroughly we can fall apart, our emotions scrambled, feeling so out of control that we wonder whether we will ever be normal again. How did we go from feeling mature and in control to immature and out of control? The answer lies in whether we are spiritually or emotionally mature and how we ground that energy in our life.
Many clients ask me why their lessons are so challenging. My response is that it appears that way because the most challenging lessons always involve something that really matters to us. We notice the issues that put us face to face with every fear, doubt, insecurity, and emotion that we have kept hidden. Why can’t we be mature, calm and objective in these situations? We can if we are acting from our spiritual maturity instead of trying to control our emotions and justify our experiences through them.
Without the knowledge, confidence and support that we get from spirit we rely on our ego’s maturity level to get us through whatever we are facing. And its maturity level is at the first trauma we experienced in our life, plus all of the emotional baggage we carry. Since every issue we face is an opportunity to heal our emotional wounds and to bring us into spiritual maturity, no wonder we get stuck, overwhelmed and feel out of control. We’re looking at the problem from its ego perspective instead of moving into a higher one. The clarity we seek and maturity we need come from spirit, not from the ego.
Clarity takes on a whole new meaning with spiritual maturity because we are not looking for validation or confirmation of our worthiness, our intention is on healing and we are open to the truth in whatever way it is presented to us. With spiritual maturity we can ask ‘what is next’ instead of the ‘why is this happening to me’ and use the answers we receive to complete that level of growth and healing. With clarity we have the truth we need, although not necessarily the answers the ego wants. But with truth and clarity we can complete our lessons and move into more joyful, peaceful, loving, mature and controlled living.
Giving forgiveness to others is what allows you to release them and you from your souls’ shared karmic journey. This is more than an optional step on your journey, it is required for you to move from karma to creation, from the path of destiny into your role of co-creator with the Universe. Without forgiveness you are blocked from receiving the fullness of the divine guidance, blessings, support and grace that allow for joyful, effortless living. That is why you should apply forgiveness generously, fully and completely to everyone.
So often that which you must forgive has been the source of great pain, coming from those who have wounded you to the depths of your soul. You struggle with what they have done, try to understand their reasons and motivations, and wonder why they can be so cruel. You question whether you can forgive them and their actions as you feel this is a form of approval or acceptance. But you think this way because you have a limited awareness of your journey with them.
You are asked to forgive so that you can end karma and what you know of others through your pain is where you are the receiver. In other lifetimes you have been the one who caused pain, consciously or unconsciously, and what you are receiving is the other side of this cycle. The cycle repeats because everyone is reliving what has been done, again and again, over the course of lifetimes. It is not possible to undo what has already been done, but you can stop these cycles from repeating, which is held in your choice to forgive.
When you forgive you are only focused on ending the karmic cycle. Nothing else is part of that decision. The choice is not whether you can forgive others or whether they have done the unforgivable, but whether you want to end your karma with them, to be free of these cycles and the patterns they create in your life. This is a choice you make for yourself, so you can be free of these energies. You do not make this choice on behalf of anyone else. So forgive generously, fully and completely; give the gift of forgiveness to everyone in your life and free yourself of the connections that have defined your life until this moment so that new paths, possibilities and potentials open for you.
Written by Jennifer Hoffman