Archive for Jun 17th, 2011

What makes some people dearer~

What makes some people dearer~.

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Discovering the Truth about Your Spirituality

energyhead“Something should remind us once more that the great things in this  universe are things that we never see. You walk out at night and look up at the  beautiful stars as they bedeck the heavens like swinging lanterns of eternity  and you think you can see all. Oh, no. You can never see the law of gravitation  that holds them there.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.  ~

 

Writing about spirituality can be sensitive.

By not  writing about it, I would deny each of you access to questions and thoughts that  can help you truly fulfill your purpose in life.

I am not talking about  the politically correct, watered-down version of spirituality that typically  refers to our core values; I mean the foundational beliefs on which our lives  exist and function.

The objective of this article is to expand your  thinking about spirituality. All I ask is that you be open to my comments with  an investigative and inquisitive mindset. In the end, you will make your own personal choices.

Finding true  purpose in your life means going on a personal quest to find answers to the  following questions.

  • Are human beings spiritual? How can I know?
  • If we are spiritual, what does that really mean? What is the truth on this  subject?
  • How can I tell spiritual truth from falsehood?
  • What is going on here in this universe?
  • What is true, real, false, unreal, good, and bad?
  • How can I validate what is true? What criteria are reliable?
  • What is the origin, source, and purpose of life?
  • What is at the foundations of life?
  • Why does life exist? My life?
  • How should I conduct my life and how should I love?
  • Should I even concern myself with these types of questions?
  • How do I know my life has meaning?
  •  All assumptions currently held by mankind on spirituality cannot all be  true. This means that some people in the area of spirituality still believe the  world is flat, even though there is evidence to the contrary.
  • Natural laws and truth apply equally to spirituality as they do to the rest  of our lives. That means we don’t create spiritual laws; we discover what is  already true.
  • The law of duality applies to spirituality as is does to all other  conditions for mankind. You cannot have light without darkness, push without  pull, high without low, fast without slow, or good without evil.
  • That spiritual truth is different than—and should not be confused with—the way individuals wish to express and live  their spirituality.

Our lives operate under natural laws and  truths; regardless of your opinions about these laws, the laws themselves do not  change. One example is gravity. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t  mean gravity doesn’t exist. And when people believed the world was flat, their  collective opinion did not make it so.

This principle of natural laws  and truth equally applies to spirituality, spiritual truth, or spiritual law.  The focus should be on discovering spiritual truth, not creating it.

One rule we need to embrace is that all individuals should be respected as they  go through their spiritual search process. Nor should anyone expect his or her  journey to occur while reading this article. The journey takes time and personal  reflection.

Consider the first question: are human beings spiritual? To  answer, we must consider the origins of our existence. We have only two choices:  are we all just an accident or are we  part of a greater plan created by a spiritual being? So many individuals take  our complexity for granted.

Here are two ideas to ponder.

1.  If we are an accident, natural laws must apply to the process.

A few  years ago, I had the pleasure of listening to a brilliant mathematician and  scientist who took the time to calculate the implications of the theory of  evolution. His presentation documented the fact that it’s mathematically  unfeasible for all origins of life to come from a single point, as suggested by  some. From his research, he found evolution required genetic mutations and  progress of such magnitude, it was simply not possible. In addition, he pointed  out that current science revealed that most species that mutate die. (Mutations  are required for this theory to be fulfilled.) On the other hand, how can an  individual confirm whether he or she is part of a greater plan or spiritual  power?

The next thought is profound to this process. I would like you  to think about it long after you read this article.

2. We as  individuals actually create nothing and discover everything!

Let me  explain what I mean by this. All items, inventions, and findings already existed  before they were discovered. They were simply found. Advancements of a new  cancer treatment, the hydrogen fuel cell, or traveling to Mars are examples of  humankind’s realizing its potential—the ability to find it or do it was ALWAYS  there. Einstein confirmed this in his equations that show energy is never  created or dissipated, but simply shifted into another form.

So where  did all this potential come from?

If we are spiritual, truth must also  be discovered, not created. After a decade of purpose work, I find that  individuals wrestle with their purpose and meaning in life until they can  clarify their beliefs about their spirituality. I believe that clarity about  your existence is the most important issue you can address and that every other  purpose process, personal development system, or learning experience is  insignificant by comparison.

I want to leave you with a few final  thoughts. Yes, I do personally believe we are not an accident and that we have a  specific spiritual heritage, origin, and one God. Those are my beliefs. You  must, however, personally discover and confirm your spirituality for yourself.  Some of you are clear and confident; others are unsure or indifferent.  Regardless, I challenge you to confirm your assumptions and clarify your  spiritual beliefs because they affect everything you will do or will become in  your life.

Action steps to Discovering the Truth about Your  Spirituality

Beliefs Are Your Assumptions about these 9 Points.  These are, of course, tough questions. Your beliefs are the foundation  cornerstones of everything you think, judge, plan, hope for,  and seek to achieve. They form the basis for all moral and ethical decisions.  They are the screen through which you filter and interpret your world. Your  beliefs also determine your mental attitude to some extent — in terms of your  being basically hopeful, neutral, or pessimistic about life.

People  say, “attitude shapes belief.” I say the opposite. What you assume to be true  causes you to have a certain attitude. Emotions follow from that attitude.

Some people have very clearly defined assumptions about what they  believe, but most people are just not clear. Others dismiss the issue as  “philosophic fuzzy stuff” that they don’t want to deal with right now. The caution is: be careful  how you assume things to be, because for you, that’s how they are right  now!

You can continue to clarify your beliefs over time. As  you do so, you will discover greater depth of meaning in life and work.

Until next time keep “Living on Purpose,”

Ken Keis

Ken  Keis –    About the Author:

Ken Keis, MBA, CPC, is an internationally known author, speaker, and  consultant. In the past 20 years, he has conducted over 2000 presentations  including 10,000 hours of coaching and HR consulting.  He has published over 400  articles, and designed more than 40 business management, leadership, personal  development, wellness or sales processes—authoring 2 million + words of content  along the way.

For information on CRG Resources, please visit  http://crgleader.com

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How to stop absorbing other peoples negative emotions

pain-lossEmotional freedom means learning how to stay centered in a stressful, highly emotionally charged world. Since emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are energies, you can potentially “catch” them from people without realizing it. If you tend to be an emotional sponge, it’s vital to know how to avoid taking on an individual’s negative emotions or the free-floating kind in crowds.

Another twist is that chronic anxiety, depression, or stress can turn you into an emotional sponge by wearing down your defenses. Suddenly, you become hyper-attuned to others, especially those with similar pain. That’s how  empathy works; we zero in on hot-button issues that are unresolved in ourselves.

From an energetic standpoint, negative emotions can originate from several sources. What you’re feeling may be your own; it may be someone else’s; or it may be a combination. I’ll explain how to tell the difference and strategically bolster positive emotions so you don’t shoulder negativity that doesn’t belong to you.

This wasn’t something I always knew how to do. Growing up, my girlfriends couldn’t wait to hit the shopping malls and go to parties, the bigger the better–but I didn’t share their excitement. I always felt overwhelmed, exhausted around large groups of people, though I was clueless why. “What’s the matter with you?” friends would say, shooting me the weirdest looks. All I knew was that crowded places and I just didn’t mix. I’d go there feeling just fine but leave nervous, depressed, or with some horrible new ache or pain. Unsuspectingly, I was a gigantic sponge, absorbing the emotions of people around me.

With my patients, I’ve also seen how absorbing other people’s emotions can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that more than two million Americans suffer from chronic fatigue. It’s likely that many of them are emotional sponges.

Here are some strategies from Emotional Freedom to practice. They will help you to stop absorbing other people’s emotions.

Emotional Action Step ~ How To Stay Centered In A Stressful World To detach from other people’s negative emotions:

First, ask yourself: Is the feeling mine or someone else’s?
It could be both. If the emotion such as fear or anger is yours, gently confront what’s causing it on your own or with professional help. If not, try to pinpoint the obvious generator. For instance, if you’ve just watched a comedy, yet you came home from the movie theater feeling blue, you may have incorporated the depression of the people sitting beside you; in close proximity, energy fields overlap. The same is true with going to a mall or packed concert.

When possible, distance yourself from the suspected source.

Move at least twenty feet away; see if you feel relief. Don’t err on the side of not wanting to offend strangers. In a public place, don’t hesitate to change seats if you feel a sense of depression imposing on you.

For a few minutes, center yourself by concentrating on your breath: This connects you to your essence. Keep exhaling negativity, inhaling calm. This helps to ground yourself and purify fear or other difficult emotions Visualize negativity as gray fog lifting from your body, and hope as golden light entering. This can yield quick results.

Negative emotions such as fear frequently lodge in your emotional center at the solar plexus.

Place your palm there as you keep sending loving-kindness to that area to flush stress out. For longstanding  depression or anxiety, use this method daily to strengthen this center. It’s comforting and builds a sense of safety and optimism.

Shield yourself.

A handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what’s positive to filter in.

Look for positive people and situations.

Call a friend who sees the good in others. Spend time with a colleague who affirms the bright side of things. Listen to hopeful people. Hear the faith they have in themselves and others. Also relish hopeful words, songs, and art forms. Hope is contagious and it will lift your mood.

Keep practicing these strategies. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel each time you’re on emotional overload. With strategies to cope, you can have quicker retorts to stressful situations, feel safer, and your sensitivities can blossom.

Written by Dr Judith Orloff

Article Sourced Angel Shadows Blog

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s new book “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Harmony Books, 2009)

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Developing Your Inner Adult ~ Moving Beyond Blaming

PointingFingerI define an adult as someone who takes 100 % responsibility for his or her life  and situation. This article (and you tube) series will explore what it means to  be an adult. These times are calling for leaders to be adults.

Every blaming thought you hold is an obstacle—an obstacle to your  success. Think for a moment of someone you may be blaming right now. This person  could be a parent, one of your children, your spouse or partner, a neighbor, your boss, or your employee. Think about the  thoughts you have toward this person and ask yourself these three questions:

1.  How does this blaming thought help me live better?

2. How does this blaming  thought help me feel better?

3. How does this blaming thought help the person  that I am blaming?

If you are honest with yourself–you know that  these thoughts don’t help. We tell ourselves that the hurt or the anger that we  feel is caused by someone else. But in fact, it is our own thinking that makes  us suffer. Since blaming doesn’t help, and it makes us suffer, why do we do it  so much? We do it for the payoffs.

Three Payoffs

 1. You get to be right. It goes  like this–“I’m hurt; I’m angry; and I’m miserable—but at least I know I’m  right.”

 2. You get to play victim–no expectations–no responsibility.

3. You  get to justify yourself and your behavior.

While these payoffs may  provide us with a little charge–a moment of satisfaction, ultimately, when we  blame, we suffer. Hurtful. angry, and guilty thoughts make us feel miserable and  powerless. Whatever your real goals in life may be, whether it is joy, success,  growth, or fulfillment, blame, gets in the way.

1. Blaming is a focus on what  you don’t want–instead of focusing on what you do want.

2. Blaming doesn’t  motivate anyone. It makes people defensive.

3. Blaming is a distortion of  reality.

It’s just a story that we tell ourselves, and in the story we  distort reality in order to justify ourselves–in order make ourselves feel  right or better than the other person. When we are blaming we cannot see or deal with reality as it is, because we  are stuck in the story. Now here is a question for you: Think for a moment again  of someone you are blaming. Ask yourself: Who would you be if you weren’t  blaming this person? Who would you be without your blaming thoughts? Who would  you be in this situation, how would you be acting, if you weren’t blaming, if  you weren’t holding this person responsible for your well-being? Who would you  be if you weren’t playing victim to this person?

I’ll tell you what I  think you’d be: I think you would be incredible. I think that you would be  powerful. I think that you be courageous. I think that you would be free.

So, how do we become this powerful,  incredible, and courageous person we are all meant to be. Here are a few ideas  that will move you in that direction:

 1. Accept people and situations as they  are, instead of wishing for them to be different.

2. Breathe–release your  negative emotion.

3. Focus your attention on what you do want instead of  focusing it on what you don’t want.

When you are clear about who you  are, and when your thoughts and your energy are focused on what it is that you do want, that’s  when you move beyond blaming. That’s when you recognize that blaming is just a  distraction and it is not nearly as important as the person that you want to  become, nor is it as important as the goals that you want to achieve.

William  Frank Diedrich –    About the Author:

William Frank Diedrich is a keynote speaker and workshop presenter, executive  coach, and the author of three books, including, Beyond Blaming: Unleashing  Power and Passion in People and Organizations. Bill’s books and his new CD, The  Leaders’ Edge: Three Keys to Exceptional Leadership, can be purchased at
intelligentspirit
Bill speaks on leadership and  organizational development, moving beyond blaming, emotional intelligence, and  spiritual intelligence. He works with leaders at all levels in organizations to  bring forth their best. More info and articles can be found at   noblaming
To hear this  article — This is the link for the youtube version : BeyondBlame

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