Archive for Jun 17th, 2011
“Something should remind us once more that the great things in this universe are things that we never see. You walk out at night and look up at the beautiful stars as they bedeck the heavens like swinging lanterns of eternity and you think you can see all. Oh, no. You can never see the law of gravitation that holds them there.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr. ~
Writing about spirituality can be sensitive.
By not writing about it, I would deny each of you access to questions and thoughts that can help you truly fulfill your purpose in life.
I am not talking about the politically correct, watered-down version of spirituality that typically refers to our core values; I mean the foundational beliefs on which our lives exist and function.
The objective of this article is to expand your thinking about spirituality. All I ask is that you be open to my comments with an investigative and inquisitive mindset. In the end, you will make your own personal choices.
Finding true purpose in your life means going on a personal quest to find answers to the following questions.
- Are human beings spiritual? How can I know?
- If we are spiritual, what does that really mean? What is the truth on this subject?
- How can I tell spiritual truth from falsehood?
- What is going on here in this universe?
- What is true, real, false, unreal, good, and bad?
- How can I validate what is true? What criteria are reliable?
- What is the origin, source, and purpose of life?
- What is at the foundations of life?
- Why does life exist? My life?
- How should I conduct my life and how should I love?
- Should I even concern myself with these types of questions?
- How do I know my life has meaning?
- All assumptions currently held by mankind on spirituality cannot all be true. This means that some people in the area of spirituality still believe the world is flat, even though there is evidence to the contrary.
- Natural laws and truth apply equally to spirituality as they do to the rest of our lives. That means we don’t create spiritual laws; we discover what is already true.
- The law of duality applies to spirituality as is does to all other conditions for mankind. You cannot have light without darkness, push without pull, high without low, fast without slow, or good without evil.
- That spiritual truth is different than—and should not be confused with—the way individuals wish to express and live their spirituality.
Our lives operate under natural laws and truths; regardless of your opinions about these laws, the laws themselves do not change. One example is gravity. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean gravity doesn’t exist. And when people believed the world was flat, their collective opinion did not make it so.
This principle of natural laws and truth equally applies to spirituality, spiritual truth, or spiritual law. The focus should be on discovering spiritual truth, not creating it.
One rule we need to embrace is that all individuals should be respected as they go through their spiritual search process. Nor should anyone expect his or her journey to occur while reading this article. The journey takes time and personal reflection.
Consider the first question: are human beings spiritual? To answer, we must consider the origins of our existence. We have only two choices: are we all just an accident or are we part of a greater plan created by a spiritual being? So many individuals take our complexity for granted.
Here are two ideas to ponder.
1. If we are an accident, natural laws must apply to the process.
A few years ago, I had the pleasure of listening to a brilliant mathematician and scientist who took the time to calculate the implications of the theory of evolution. His presentation documented the fact that it’s mathematically unfeasible for all origins of life to come from a single point, as suggested by some. From his research, he found evolution required genetic mutations and progress of such magnitude, it was simply not possible. In addition, he pointed out that current science revealed that most species that mutate die. (Mutations are required for this theory to be fulfilled.) On the other hand, how can an individual confirm whether he or she is part of a greater plan or spiritual power?
The next thought is profound to this process. I would like you to think about it long after you read this article.
2. We as individuals actually create nothing and discover everything!
Let me explain what I mean by this. All items, inventions, and findings already existed before they were discovered. They were simply found. Advancements of a new cancer treatment, the hydrogen fuel cell, or traveling to Mars are examples of humankind’s realizing its potential—the ability to find it or do it was ALWAYS there. Einstein confirmed this in his equations that show energy is never created or dissipated, but simply shifted into another form.
So where did all this potential come from?
If we are spiritual, truth must also be discovered, not created. After a decade of purpose work, I find that individuals wrestle with their purpose and meaning in life until they can clarify their beliefs about their spirituality. I believe that clarity about your existence is the most important issue you can address and that every other purpose process, personal development system, or learning experience is insignificant by comparison.
I want to leave you with a few final thoughts. Yes, I do personally believe we are not an accident and that we have a specific spiritual heritage, origin, and one God. Those are my beliefs. You must, however, personally discover and confirm your spirituality for yourself. Some of you are clear and confident; others are unsure or indifferent. Regardless, I challenge you to confirm your assumptions and clarify your spiritual beliefs because they affect everything you will do or will become in your life.
Action steps to Discovering the Truth about Your Spirituality
Beliefs Are Your Assumptions about these 9 Points. These are, of course, tough questions. Your beliefs are the foundation cornerstones of everything you think, judge, plan, hope for, and seek to achieve. They form the basis for all moral and ethical decisions. They are the screen through which you filter and interpret your world. Your beliefs also determine your mental attitude to some extent — in terms of your being basically hopeful, neutral, or pessimistic about life.
People say, “attitude shapes belief.” I say the opposite. What you assume to be true causes you to have a certain attitude. Emotions follow from that attitude.
Some people have very clearly defined assumptions about what they believe, but most people are just not clear. Others dismiss the issue as “philosophic fuzzy stuff” that they don’t want to deal with right now. The caution is: be careful how you assume things to be, because for you, that’s how they are right now!
You can continue to clarify your beliefs over time. As you do so, you will discover greater depth of meaning in life and work.
Until next time keep “Living on Purpose,”
Ken Keis – About the Author:
Ken Keis, MBA, CPC, is an internationally known author, speaker, and consultant. In the past 20 years, he has conducted over 2000 presentations including 10,000 hours of coaching and HR consulting. He has published over 400 articles, and designed more than 40 business management, leadership, personal development, wellness or sales processes—authoring 2 million + words of content along the way.
For information on CRG Resources, please visit http://crgleader.com
Emotional freedom means learning how to stay centered in a stressful, highly emotionally charged world. Since emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are energies, you can potentially “catch” them from people without realizing it. If you tend to be an emotional sponge, it’s vital to know how to avoid taking on an individual’s negative emotions or the free-floating kind in crowds.
Another twist is that chronic anxiety, depression, or stress can turn you into an emotional sponge by wearing down your defenses. Suddenly, you become hyper-attuned to others, especially those with similar pain. That’s how empathy works; we zero in on hot-button issues that are unresolved in ourselves.
From an energetic standpoint, negative emotions can originate from several sources. What you’re feeling may be your own; it may be someone else’s; or it may be a combination. I’ll explain how to tell the difference and strategically bolster positive emotions so you don’t shoulder negativity that doesn’t belong to you.
This wasn’t something I always knew how to do. Growing up, my girlfriends couldn’t wait to hit the shopping malls and go to parties, the bigger the better–but I didn’t share their excitement. I always felt overwhelmed, exhausted around large groups of people, though I was clueless why. “What’s the matter with you?” friends would say, shooting me the weirdest looks. All I knew was that crowded places and I just didn’t mix. I’d go there feeling just fine but leave nervous, depressed, or with some horrible new ache or pain. Unsuspectingly, I was a gigantic sponge, absorbing the emotions of people around me.
With my patients, I’ve also seen how absorbing other people’s emotions can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that more than two million Americans suffer from chronic fatigue. It’s likely that many of them are emotional sponges.
Here are some strategies from Emotional Freedom to practice. They will help you to stop absorbing other people’s emotions.
Emotional Action Step ~ How To Stay Centered In A Stressful World To detach from other people’s negative emotions:
First, ask yourself: Is the feeling mine or someone else’s?
It could be both. If the emotion such as fear or anger is yours, gently confront what’s causing it on your own or with professional help. If not, try to pinpoint the obvious generator. For instance, if you’ve just watched a comedy, yet you came home from the movie theater feeling blue, you may have incorporated the depression of the people sitting beside you; in close proximity, energy fields overlap. The same is true with going to a mall or packed concert.
When possible, distance yourself from the suspected source.
Move at least twenty feet away; see if you feel relief. Don’t err on the side of not wanting to offend strangers. In a public place, don’t hesitate to change seats if you feel a sense of depression imposing on you.
For a few minutes, center yourself by concentrating on your breath: This connects you to your essence. Keep exhaling negativity, inhaling calm. This helps to ground yourself and purify fear or other difficult emotions Visualize negativity as gray fog lifting from your body, and hope as golden light entering. This can yield quick results.
Negative emotions such as fear frequently lodge in your emotional center at the solar plexus.
Place your palm there as you keep sending loving-kindness to that area to flush stress out. For longstanding depression or anxiety, use this method daily to strengthen this center. It’s comforting and builds a sense of safety and optimism.
A handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what’s positive to filter in.
Look for positive people and situations.
Call a friend who sees the good in others. Spend time with a colleague who affirms the bright side of things. Listen to hopeful people. Hear the faith they have in themselves and others. Also relish hopeful words, songs, and art forms. Hope is contagious and it will lift your mood.
Keep practicing these strategies. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel each time you’re on emotional overload. With strategies to cope, you can have quicker retorts to stressful situations, feel safer, and your sensitivities can blossom.
Written by Dr Judith Orloff
Article Sourced Angel Shadows Blog
Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s new book “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Harmony Books, 2009)
- Book Review: Emotional Freedom, by Judith Orloff, MD (susanheim.blogspot.com)
- Four Strategies to Cope With Anger in a Healthy Way (psychologytoday.com)
- Judith Orloff MD: Gusher Or Empath? How To Identify And Master Your Emotional Type (huffingtonpost.com)
- How to stop absorbing other peoples negative emotions (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
I define an adult as someone who takes 100 % responsibility for his or her life and situation. This article (and you tube) series will explore what it means to be an adult. These times are calling for leaders to be adults.
Every blaming thought you hold is an obstacle—an obstacle to your success. Think for a moment of someone you may be blaming right now. This person could be a parent, one of your children, your spouse or partner, a neighbor, your boss, or your employee. Think about the thoughts you have toward this person and ask yourself these three questions:
1. How does this blaming thought help me live better?
2. How does this blaming thought help me feel better?
3. How does this blaming thought help the person that I am blaming?
If you are honest with yourself–you know that these thoughts don’t help. We tell ourselves that the hurt or the anger that we feel is caused by someone else. But in fact, it is our own thinking that makes us suffer. Since blaming doesn’t help, and it makes us suffer, why do we do it so much? We do it for the payoffs.
1. You get to be right. It goes like this–“I’m hurt; I’m angry; and I’m miserable—but at least I know I’m right.”
2. You get to play victim–no expectations–no responsibility.
3. You get to justify yourself and your behavior.
While these payoffs may provide us with a little charge–a moment of satisfaction, ultimately, when we blame, we suffer. Hurtful. angry, and guilty thoughts make us feel miserable and powerless. Whatever your real goals in life may be, whether it is joy, success, growth, or fulfillment, blame, gets in the way.
1. Blaming is a focus on what you don’t want–instead of focusing on what you do want.
2. Blaming doesn’t motivate anyone. It makes people defensive.
3. Blaming is a distortion of reality.
It’s just a story that we tell ourselves, and in the story we distort reality in order to justify ourselves–in order make ourselves feel right or better than the other person. When we are blaming we cannot see or deal with reality as it is, because we are stuck in the story. Now here is a question for you: Think for a moment again of someone you are blaming. Ask yourself: Who would you be if you weren’t blaming this person? Who would you be without your blaming thoughts? Who would you be in this situation, how would you be acting, if you weren’t blaming, if you weren’t holding this person responsible for your well-being? Who would you be if you weren’t playing victim to this person?
I’ll tell you what I think you’d be: I think you would be incredible. I think that you would be powerful. I think that you be courageous. I think that you would be free.
So, how do we become this powerful, incredible, and courageous person we are all meant to be. Here are a few ideas that will move you in that direction:
1. Accept people and situations as they are, instead of wishing for them to be different.
2. Breathe–release your negative emotion.
3. Focus your attention on what you do want instead of focusing it on what you don’t want.
When you are clear about who you are, and when your thoughts and your energy are focused on what it is that you do want, that’s when you move beyond blaming. That’s when you recognize that blaming is just a distraction and it is not nearly as important as the person that you want to become, nor is it as important as the goals that you want to achieve.
William Frank Diedrich – About the Author:
William Frank Diedrich is a keynote speaker and workshop presenter, executive coach, and the author of three books, including, Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations. Bill’s books and his new CD, The Leaders’ Edge: Three Keys to Exceptional Leadership, can be purchased at
Bill speaks on leadership and organizational development, moving beyond blaming, emotional intelligence, and spiritual intelligence. He works with leaders at all levels in organizations to bring forth their best. More info and articles can be found at noblaming
To hear this article — This is the link for the youtube version : BeyondBlame