The beginning of a new year is normally filled with talk about resolutions, how to make the best of 2012, set your goals, etc.. But before we can take on new tasks and goals, we need to clear out the clutter of 2011 and the years before that too. If you are really committed to being successful in every area of your life, you must start eliminating all the things you are tolerating, all the things that you put up with, the things you allow but dislike and disagree with!
We tend to get dragged down and overwhelmed by things that accumulate over time – and end up cluttering our minds. Now is the time to identify what you’re tolerating! Everything you tolerate drains your energy and the negative effect this has will continue to get worse. The advantages and benefits you will experience once you start to remove tolerations are huge! You will have more energy to spend on improving the quality of your life and you will notice you have more time, as you are not wasting time on managing situations which shouldn´t be there.
Remove the tolerations that make you sigh, the ones that drain your energy. Your aim is to make your environment energy giving and not energy draining. Removing all ¨your tolerations¨ will leave you feeling more energized, more empowered and productive and less overwhelmed. You will feel more focused and have more energy to achieve more in less time.
Besides increasing how much you can accomplish in less time and doubling your productivity, there are many advantages to this exercise. When we don´t put up with so many things we don´t want to, we raise our standards and our quality of life. We will also attract more opportunities because our energy levels will be focused upon what we want to achieve not on what we need to tolerate.
Unless we make changes, we will experience the same results over and over again. The benefits to permanently manage the things you put up with far prevail over any commitment you must make now to resolve them for good. Ask yourself why you are actually tolerating certain situations and what is the benefit or the fear behind allowing this to continue?
Target the tolerations
Start by thinking about a time when you put up with something or someone and you didn´t want to. Perhaps a situation which you knew in your heart was not good for you, it didn´t feel right. Be completely honest with yourself about what needs to go, what’s causing you stress, and what constantly drains you.
Types of tolerations
People Tolerations: We could be putting up with more than we like from other people. What situations can you be more assertive in and/or have open communication to deal with these tolerations. The key is to not build up resentment and anger against somebody, as this leads you to overreact or blow up eventually when you simply can´t put up with somebody anymore.
Health Tolerations: We tolerate our own unhealthy behavior when we don´t exercise, we eat junk and fast food and we gain weight. You are standing in the way of yourself and sometimes you can become your own worst enemy.
Work Tolerations: Having a messy or unorganized office. Not learning new skills and struggling over and again with the same resources you have, hoping for better results. Another big one is being distracted at work, by social media accounts, emails, etc or perhaps constantly being interrupted by colleagues, your boss, your mobile ringing, etc
Personal Tolerations or tolerations at Home: Having a messy cupboard, drawers filled with so much stuff you don´t even want to open it. Not fixing something or putting up with a semi-functioning device instead of taking time to fix it, for example.
We need to also differentiate between tolerations that are ¨soft¨, or easier to correct and tolerations that are ¨hard¨ or more difficult to correct. Below are some examples.
An email In-box that gets fuller and fuller every time you look at it
Having a filing system that is a mess and feeling disorganized on a daily basis
Not getting your car serviced – even though it needed to be looked at a month ago!
Time wasters (for example: how much time do you spend watching T.V. instead of doing something worthwhile.)
More difficult Tolerations
More difficult tolerations could be: lack of free time to enjoy yourself
Tolerating difficult relationships or problems because clear boundaries have not been established
Financial issues and a lack of month, increasing debt, etc
Steps to take
1.Write a list of all the tolerations (email me for a copy of the document).
This is an important first step as the process of writing our thoughts down, helps us to discover, identify and clarify our thoughts and feelings. It also is the first step in starting the process of controlling them.
2. Make a vision for yourself.
Picture what your life would be like without the tolerations anymore, think of all the things that will improve, see it in your mind’s eye. What more could you enjoy and accomplish in life?
3.Divide your list into ¨easy¨ and ¨difficult¨ tolerations.
The easy tasks will be quicker to eliminate and control will give you back your time and energy the quickest.
4.Select the tolerations you want to eliminate
I would suggest selecting 4 for the first week, two easier ones and two more difficult. You can do more as the weeks go one. Be realistic and don´t take on more than you know you can´t handle.
5.Make a plan to eliminate those tolerations, a plan of action, with deadlines as well. Take into consideration all you will need to accomplish this successfully. Create boundaries and decide what you will no longer accept. Ask yourself the following questions
– What limitations/boundaries do you need to set?
– What conversations will need to take place and with who?
– What resources must I locate to assist me in this change?
– If I have to tolerate this what is required of me to no longer feel
a drain on my time or energy?
– Do I need to lower or raise my standards in order to be free of
6.Commit to this long term change
Commit, prepare and expect to deal with the obstacles and challenges you will face along the way. Have a plan so you are able to manage going forward. Also, how will you hold yourself accountable to make these changes and improve the quality of your life, perhaps partner with friend, spouse or even a Coach? Once you have eliminated all the tolerations, you will be in a better position to start setting goals now that the clutter has been cleared.
To Your Success!