Posts Tagged Relationships

My History with Anger and How I Finally Decided To Let Go of My Anger, Part 1: Growing Up in a Household of Anger

 

This is part 1 of a new series on my history with anger, how I have consciously decided to let go of it, along with a guide on how to start healing from a life of anger.

Anger

Anger. What a self-destructive emotion.

Yet, many of us seem to carry anger with us like it’s a part of our identity. Many of us seem to wear anger like it’s a self-enhancing booster, an accolade of superiority, and a natural part of being human (it isn’t).

Read More: http://personalexcellence.co/blog/anger/

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Words, Trust and Relationships

Interpersonal relationships are social connections, associations and affiliations between people. They vary in levels of depth and intimacy and cover different aspects such as friendship, family, boy-girl relationship and marriage. Regardless of the different kinds of relationship or the different role which a person plays in a social entity, conflicts may arise and can strain a relationship. Trust is an important element in maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship. Conflicts normally arise due to the betrayal of trust between two parties in a relationship. Whenever there is a conflict, parties may resort to hurling harsh words and insults on each other which may eventually lead to emotional stress.

TrustTrust is the pillar which supports relationships. Lies are the culprits for distrust and suspicion in relationships. Lies should be taken seriously because for every time a lie is told, the level of trust will drop and create more and more suspicion between parties. Eventually, the person who tells the lies will lose their credibility and this will strain the relationship. In today’s modern society of heightened stress and competition, lies are inevitable and serve as a convenient tool to evade trouble and protect oneself. However, this form of convenience is exchanged with the reduction in trust. A person who has their trust misplaced before may have difficulty trusting people again. Therefore, with regards of relationship, once there is zero trust between both parties, this relationship has failed. Honesty is the best policy!

Words can be the most powerful tool but the most destructive weapon in the world. Words can be in the form of praise and compliment but also a weapon that can hurt and leave an emotional scar in a person. For instance, rumors are able to cause a person to break down and become adversely affected because of the large number of people being involved. When it comes to relationship, hurtful remarks and insults being hurled on a person in the fit of anger during conflicts can deeply affect the person’s psychological and emotional state. The impact of these words can be further intensified especially when it come out from a person who you are closely attached to. The emotional effect may heal over time but it can also change a person’s perception of humanity and relationships permanently.

In conclusion, trust and words are closely related to each other in a relationship. Any incorrect management of these two important elements can strain a relationship. Anger management, character building and emotional stress management are crucial to prevent conflicts and handle any aftermath of failed relationships. Therefore, one should not take things to be granted and learn to cherish relationships.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

http://www.weewoowee.com/forum/index.php —— Michelle Chin | Women, Beauty, Relationship and Lingerie Forum

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How to recognise negative energy

Many of us know the harmful effect of negativity. Napolean Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich says; “There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it’s positive or negative.”

negative energyIt is probably easier to be negative than positive. It is easy to slide into a blaming culture, the poor little old me mindset. We all know the importance of being positive and usually more effort is needed to a maintain positivity as it is easy to slide into negativity.

However, you can avoid negativity and disallow it to ruin your life by recognising them. Negative energy in our life can be ourselves and the people around us.

Personal negativity could come in the form of suspicion, mistrust and self doubt. Very often many of us allow negativity to invade our thoughts, for example, doubting the possibility that things are going smoothly, believing that there is a catch somewhere, always wary about being taken for a ride and being jealous of another person’s achievements. As we are the master of our own destiny and our thoughts can make or break us, such negativity will hinder our progress and even destroy something that is going well.

Negativity energy could also come from people could be our colleagues, our friends and family. When you are around people who say things to cast doubts in your mind, complained about almost everything and whatever other people are doing, it can have a negative effect on your emotions and behaviour. These people live in fear and worry. They can’t control their emotions and they are frequently angry. Being around negative people can drain your energy. Their negativity can lead you to making wrong judgement and decisions.

Sometimes, it may not be possible to stay away from negative people especially if they are family members. However, it is possible to walk away from a negative conversation. Stay away from people who make you doubt yourself or your progress

You know you are becoming a negative person when your venture start failing and your progress get stifled. You will notice that positive people stay away from you and you are surrounded by people who are constantly negative. Eventually, you will become an angry and depressed person.

Remember, nothing gets solved being negative and it will only make worsened our life. Recognise the negative energy, stay away from it and make a conscious effort to be positive.

“Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal power comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out.” – Norman Vincent Peale

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Avoid negativity and turn your attention to being positive. Join Jennifer Lim as she shares her experience and articles about being positive and self improvement advice in Learning Curve.

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Changing your life by changing your mind

Most of us feel upset and resentful from time to time, and for some that feeling seems to almost always be with us.  The word “resent” means literally to refeel, so those who carry resentments are simply replaying unhappy times in their lives over and over again.  One lady I worked with at one time kept saying to me, “But how can I feel happy when my husband is gone.”  I would usually tell her that she could feel sad that he was no longer with her, but she could begin to let go of the constant feelings of grief.  She insisted that wasn’t possible.  She would tell me that no matter how engrosing whatever she was doing was, she would also be thinking of how much she missed her husband and about all the things she wished she had done differently in her life with him..

It is very difficult to shift our thinking from one channel to another, but it can be done with lots and lots of practice.  The process can begin with the realization that no matter how hard we work at it, we can not change reality.  My patient’s husband was not going to come back, and she would never be able to change the way her life with him had been.  By spending so much of her energy resenting the fact that he was gone, she was in effect poisoning the current monments in her life.  We talked about the fact that her husband would not have wanted her to think that way, and gradually she began to see that she could begin to shift her thinking to more positive thoughts.

Many people allow their thinking to get stuck in certain tracks, and they come to believe that it is not possible to change this.  Their take on life is that they feel what they feel, and there is no way to feel differently.  In recent years, science has come a long way toward proving that what we think determines what plays out in our lives.  It doesn’t do so directly, of course, or we would all be winning the lottery all the time.  But when we think we are helpless to change our thinking, we find that is true in our lives.  When we begin to think about all the ways we might be able to shift our thought processes, we find we can do that occasionally.  Since practice makes perfect, we find that our ability to change our thinking can grow.

To give you an example of how this words, I will tell you that my parents lived through the “great depression” just prior to my birth.  It colored their lives and I grew up thinking that no matter how much I had, it was never enough.  Eventually I realized that my thoughts were always of scarcity, so scarcity was what I attracted to my life.  I worked very hard at shifting my thoughts to abundant thinking.  I would get mail from many worthy causes asking for donations.  In the past, I always felt that I did not have enough to give funds away.  Slowly I sifted my thinking to the realization that I might not have much, but I had more than many others, so I opted to share the little I had.  Since I was sending out abundant thoughts into the universe, the abundance in my life grew and grew.

If you have decided you want to learn to control your own thoughts (which will indeed change the way you view life and the people in it) you can begin by taking baby steps and progress from there.  Whenever, you find your thinking is going around and around like a hampster on a wheel, tell youself that you would like to change the way you are thinking.  The way that works best for me is to ask for help from a power greater than myself.  I simply say, “Please help me not think this way.”  It helps if you have some more positive thoughts available.  Think about something for which you are grateful.  Think, perhaps, about the reward you will give yourself when you have achieved a change in thinking.  Above all else, do not be discouraged when your thoughts shift back into an old rut.  Simply allow yourself to be aware that this has happened, and try again.  It will work if you work at it.

 

– About the Author:

I’m a retired senior, married 53 years, and have three sons and two grand children.  I’ve written all my life but have only published two books and one workbook.  I worked over 20 years as an addictions’ counselor.  My most recent book is of scripture based daily meditations and is titled “Talks with our Creator.” Information about the book can be found at http://www.Sherryschultz377.com/MyBookBlog.

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