Posts Tagged resentment

Changing your life by changing your mind

Most of us feel upset and resentful from time to time, and for some that feeling seems to almost always be with us.  The word “resent” means literally to refeel, so those who carry resentments are simply replaying unhappy times in their lives over and over again.  One lady I worked with at one time kept saying to me, “But how can I feel happy when my husband is gone.”  I would usually tell her that she could feel sad that he was no longer with her, but she could begin to let go of the constant feelings of grief.  She insisted that wasn’t possible.  She would tell me that no matter how engrosing whatever she was doing was, she would also be thinking of how much she missed her husband and about all the things she wished she had done differently in her life with him..

It is very difficult to shift our thinking from one channel to another, but it can be done with lots and lots of practice.  The process can begin with the realization that no matter how hard we work at it, we can not change reality.  My patient’s husband was not going to come back, and she would never be able to change the way her life with him had been.  By spending so much of her energy resenting the fact that he was gone, she was in effect poisoning the current monments in her life.  We talked about the fact that her husband would not have wanted her to think that way, and gradually she began to see that she could begin to shift her thinking to more positive thoughts.

Many people allow their thinking to get stuck in certain tracks, and they come to believe that it is not possible to change this.  Their take on life is that they feel what they feel, and there is no way to feel differently.  In recent years, science has come a long way toward proving that what we think determines what plays out in our lives.  It doesn’t do so directly, of course, or we would all be winning the lottery all the time.  But when we think we are helpless to change our thinking, we find that is true in our lives.  When we begin to think about all the ways we might be able to shift our thought processes, we find we can do that occasionally.  Since practice makes perfect, we find that our ability to change our thinking can grow.

To give you an example of how this words, I will tell you that my parents lived through the “great depression” just prior to my birth.  It colored their lives and I grew up thinking that no matter how much I had, it was never enough.  Eventually I realized that my thoughts were always of scarcity, so scarcity was what I attracted to my life.  I worked very hard at shifting my thoughts to abundant thinking.  I would get mail from many worthy causes asking for donations.  In the past, I always felt that I did not have enough to give funds away.  Slowly I sifted my thinking to the realization that I might not have much, but I had more than many others, so I opted to share the little I had.  Since I was sending out abundant thoughts into the universe, the abundance in my life grew and grew.

If you have decided you want to learn to control your own thoughts (which will indeed change the way you view life and the people in it) you can begin by taking baby steps and progress from there.  Whenever, you find your thinking is going around and around like a hampster on a wheel, tell youself that you would like to change the way you are thinking.  The way that works best for me is to ask for help from a power greater than myself.  I simply say, “Please help me not think this way.”  It helps if you have some more positive thoughts available.  Think about something for which you are grateful.  Think, perhaps, about the reward you will give yourself when you have achieved a change in thinking.  Above all else, do not be discouraged when your thoughts shift back into an old rut.  Simply allow yourself to be aware that this has happened, and try again.  It will work if you work at it.


– About the Author:

I’m a retired senior, married 53 years, and have three sons and two grand children.  I’ve written all my life but have only published two books and one workbook.  I worked over 20 years as an addictions’ counselor.  My most recent book is of scripture based daily meditations and is titled “Talks with our Creator.” Information about the book can be found at

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The problem isn’t that we have problems.

The problem isn’t that we have problems. The problem is we’ve become weak. and we make most of the problems ourself. There’s far too many people looking for “someone” or some “thing” to blame for their lot or stages in life. We’ve become a world consisting of a self-serving, hedonistic life-style that only breeds further contempt, shame, cynicism, and fear…HATERS, Look…

Read more>>The problem isn’t that we have problems..

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To forgive takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger.

To forgive really is divine. It takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger. It’s much easier to hold a grudge. Yet when we make the choice and allow ourselves to put aside that anger and to forgive those who have harmed us, we actually do ourselves a great service. Making the conscious decision to let go of pain is the beginning of healing. But doing so is challenging because it is easy to become attached to seeing oneself as a victim and to hold onto resentment, even when the person who has harmed us is genuinely sorry. Forgiving someone is both one of the most difficult and one of the most spiritually rewarding choices we can make. Read more>>>>To forgive takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger..

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Can You Change?

Re-post of origional article….

Do you really believe that everyone can change his or her lives for the better? Of course you can and it takes only one decision. The issue exists that even when you decide to change your life for the better, you are up against the sum total of all your missed opportunities (past mistakes). So, it does not seem as easy as just a decision. However, the decision is the starting point. Anyone can change because we know that change is a constant, therefore we are always evolving. This means that we are always in a period of change.

change wordleThe blockages that you come up against are those that are created by yourself believing that you cannot change and from others who want to see you hurt because it makes them feel better. Let’s look at each blockage a little more in detail, which will hopefully enlighten you as to the methods or ways to overcome these blockages. The human being is a very resilient animal, yet if you bring in the spiritual aspect into the equation life becomes a rollercoaster and you are the one in control. It takes on a new meaning, rather like panning for gold and recognizing that you have just struck the mother load.

Believe in yourself! How many times have you heard this statement? I bet you have heard it many times over. It’s not as easy as you think, but the truth is that if you do not believe in yourself, you will find it very difficult to change anything or achieve anything. Many people fail at this first hurdle and it seems that everything you really want to be or change for the better is so far in the distance. If you believe in a higher power you can believe in yourself and if you have difficulty with believing in a higher power, yet you are beginning to believe in yourself you can bet the higher power is at work. This is because you are a spiritual being and have an amazing power that you can harness to better yourself. No matter what you think of yourself, you have the right to happiness and this is a matter of choice. Perhaps if you begin to really feel that you deserve happiness and no matter what causes lay in the past, you have the power to make the present wonderful by knowing that you can make the changes that are necessary. Every positive thing you do for yourself and in service to others strengthens your resolve for change to be affected.

Now even after you have gotten over that hurdle and you are beginning to feel better about yourself, you find another hurdle. This is the hurdle that is erected, not by yourself but by those who are damaged themselves and who do not want you to succeed in anything. The truth is that many people are suffering needlessly and normally due to the three lacks. The Three Lacks are the same spiritual lessons that the Great Spirit has always wished to impart to us and that is;

  1. Love
  2. Forgiveness
  3. Compasion

These are the three lacks that are also the spiritual lessons of life. If we lack in any of these three lessons or attributes, then we cause suffering not only to ourselves but also to those around us. This also means these people will act in such a way that will cause suffering to you because it makes them feel good, powerful and self gratifies themselves. Hurdles that are borne from the Lacks are erected by those who do not wish you to change and who show you no compassion, love or forgiveness because it fuels their ego and makes them feel good. This is the worse type of suffering and no one deserves to suffer in life. So how do you deal with those Damaged People?

What you have to show or give is what they lack in themselves. Never retaliate, use loving speech and do not feed your negative seeds or the negative energy that may surround you. This reminds me of an old Cherokee Indian story that denotes the profound spiritual truth. A Chief from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his son.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves.” The young boy listened intently. “One wolf is evil, unhappy, and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, selfishness, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority/superiority, false pride, coarseness, and arrogance. He spreads lies, deceit, fear, hatred, blame, scarcity, poverty, and divisiveness.” “The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, loving, worthy, serene, humble, kind, benevolent, just, fair, empathetic, generous, honest, compassionate, grateful, brave, and inspiring resting wholeheartedly in deep vision beyond ordinary wisdom.” The son paused in deep reflection of what his father had just said. Then he exclaimed; “Oyee! (In recognition).

His father continued; “This same fight is going on inside you and inside all human beings even though they fail to recognize it.” The young boy paused in deep reflection and recognition of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cried out deeply, “Oyee! Grandfather, which wolf will win this horrific war?”The elder Cherokee replied, “The wolf that you feed. That wolf will surely win!” Sometimes the greatest weapon you have is silence for within the silence is the nourishment for the soul.

Don’t feed fears for the fear will become the angry wolf and do not feed those that would seek to block you with your fear. You have the right to happiness as everyone has that right, and not one person should judge. You have to forgive yourself before you can forgive others and even though your path may seem blocked your light will shine and resilience will become stronger. You will leap over the hurdle that others erect. The last and final hurdle that you will come across in your quest for change is the support network that you have around you. If you have no support you cannot stand. If your legs are taken from you, will you crawl on your belly or will you recognize that your spiritual legs can carry you further than the physical and material? As a spiritual being, you can transcend any problem that is presented in the material world. Maybe your support network does not seem to be around you. The truth is that you have the support of the spirit and when the spirit is strong, it can answer the call that nature requires of it. You are a spiritual being that can overcome these hurdles and all you have to do is recognize the power of the spirit no matter what life throws at you.

The past is gone; the future has not arrived so the only time to live is now in the present moment.

Jock  Brocas –    About the Author:

Jock Brocas is a professional Psychic Medium who was natural from birth yet  developed later in life. Jock has dedicated his later years to his own spiritual  development and the professional development of his psychic and mediumship  gifts. Being a professional Psychic Medium is very rewarding but also has its  inherent problems. Nevertheless, Jock believes in the sanctity of mediumship and  takes his work as a psychic medium very seriously.

Jock is known for  giving irrefutable evidence and some of which can be validated much later. Jock  is passionate about the science of psychic mediumship and works closely with  many professionals in this field. He does not give general information that some  psychics throw out and prefers the protocol of scientifically controlled  telephone appointments. Jock very rarely gives psychic readings face-to-face  unless pre booked.

Jock developed his psychic gifts and mediumship later  in life when he was visited by a spirit. At first, this visitation shocked him  and terrified him, which led him into the true vocation he was here for, a  psychic medium’s life. He learned from his past and recognized that he was being  groomed to work for spirit all his life – from growing up with spiritual leaders  and spending time with religious communities – the path was being prepared. He  is also a trained vocalist and is currently working on an Album to be released  at some point in the future.

Jock Brocas (Psychic Medium) has studied  many martial arts in the past and dedicated his later years to the study of  Budo. He has amalgamated what he has learned in Budo and as a psychic medium to  help change individuals lives for the better.

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