Posts Tagged trust
Bad experiences sometimes leave deep wounds on our psyche – scars that take a long time to heal. While time generally does heal most wounds, we don’t do ourselves any favors by going back and picking at them. In fact, replaying bad experiences over again in your mind is a recipe for disaster, for the negative thoughts and emotions that were buried can be brought back to life with explosively destructive force, just like a landmine buried long ago in a forgotten war. The cultivation of greater mindfulness, however, can help us navigate through this personal minefield, alerting us whenever we get too close to danger.
Some of us do a better job than others of just going with the flow of life, and not spending too much time looking back with regret, recrimination, or guilt, to name just a few of the toxic emotions that can accompany our memories. But for almost all of us, there have been some particularly painful moments along the way, and these are the landmines that we must map out and stay away from, lest we unleash a damaging flow of thoughts and emotions. The emotions associated with past traumas don’t just make us miserable; they also have creative (which in this case means destructive) potential, transforming the events that transpire in our outer reality as well as the inner landscape which can often be bad enough by itself.
What sort of events have you buried?
- An argument with a co-worker or family member?
- An accident that you caused?
- The death of a loved one or pet?
- Rejection by an object of your affection?
- Getting fired from a job?
- Failing a test at school?
- Saying something that hurt someone else’s feelings?
- Betraying a friend’s confidence?
- A period of severe poverty and insecurity?
- The time other people abused you verbally or physically?
Obviously, the list is endless. There’s a pretty good chance that you’re working on something in your own list right now. Our inherent “negativity bias” is almost irresistible, constantly drawing us back to the worst memories and the most negative expectations for the future. That sort of thinking once made sense in an earlier evolutionary environment, where the avoidance of real threats to our survival was paramount, but in today’s generally much safer world, this default “doom and gloom” setting does us no favors at all.
Awareness of the Danger Will Protect You
While conventional mindfulness practices, which teach us to be aware of what we’re doing, moment-to-moment, with our minds, can tell us when we’re dwelling on negative memories, they don’t do nearly enough to inform us about the very real danger of this type of thinking. Buddhist mindfulness does not embrace the much more modern New Age concept that we create our physical realities with our thoughts and emotions, and simply confines itself to inner reality.
While there is undoubtedly real benefit to be derived from a more harmonious inner life, the real danger we must avoid is the physical manifestation of our negative thoughts and feelings. This danger is very real, and the power of our most upsetting memories is particularly likely to expose us to harmful manifestations. For unlike the positive manifestation goals so beloved of self-help authors like Rhonda Byrne, we know exactly what these bad experiences feel like and we can remember every little painful detail in technicolor glory. In short, it’s much, much easier to create bad realities than good ones, and we have to police ourselves constantly to protect ourselves from these self-inflicted wounds.
So the next time you catch yourself dwelling upon the worst events of your past, just stop. No matter how justified you feel you are in rehashing that event, you must remind yourself of the power of your thoughts and emotions. A simple way to manage yourself is to ask whether you want to relive that experience – or something very similar to it – again. Because if you don’t watch out, that is exactly what will happen.
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When replaying past events, one of the most damaging thought patterns we must avoid is that of self-blame. Critics of the New Age use that issue as an argument against the reality-creation principle, but it is – ironically – a strong argument in favor of New Age ideas. To see why, visit this thoughtful Meditation Blog.
- Recovering our True Self: The Journey Out of Our Negative States (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
Interpersonal relationships are social connections, associations and affiliations between people. They vary in levels of depth and intimacy and cover different aspects such as friendship, family, boy-girl relationship and marriage. Regardless of the different kinds of relationship or the different role which a person plays in a social entity, conflicts may arise and can strain a relationship. Trust is an important element in maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship. Conflicts normally arise due to the betrayal of trust between two parties in a relationship. Whenever there is a conflict, parties may resort to hurling harsh words and insults on each other which may eventually lead to emotional stress.
Trust is the pillar which supports relationships. Lies are the culprits for distrust and suspicion in relationships. Lies should be taken seriously because for every time a lie is told, the level of trust will drop and create more and more suspicion between parties. Eventually, the person who tells the lies will lose their credibility and this will strain the relationship. In today’s modern society of heightened stress and competition, lies are inevitable and serve as a convenient tool to evade trouble and protect oneself. However, this form of convenience is exchanged with the reduction in trust. A person who has their trust misplaced before may have difficulty trusting people again. Therefore, with regards of relationship, once there is zero trust between both parties, this relationship has failed. Honesty is the best policy!
Words can be the most powerful tool but the most destructive weapon in the world. Words can be in the form of praise and compliment but also a weapon that can hurt and leave an emotional scar in a person. For instance, rumors are able to cause a person to break down and become adversely affected because of the large number of people being involved. When it comes to relationship, hurtful remarks and insults being hurled on a person in the fit of anger during conflicts can deeply affect the person’s psychological and emotional state. The impact of these words can be further intensified especially when it come out from a person who you are closely attached to. The emotional effect may heal over time but it can also change a person’s perception of humanity and relationships permanently.
In conclusion, trust and words are closely related to each other in a relationship. Any incorrect management of these two important elements can strain a relationship. Anger management, character building and emotional stress management are crucial to prevent conflicts and handle any aftermath of failed relationships. Therefore, one should not take things to be granted and learn to cherish relationships.
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- Human Relationships.. a journey on its own (thevoiceofasoul.wordpress.com)
Negative thoughts make us feel down and gloomy. We all know that negativity will destroy us, but we still do it- we think negative, and we behave negatively. To a certain extent, we all worsen our situations just by taking things to another level in our minds. And even though we know that it’s not helping us, we still somehow find ourselves stuck in the spiral of negative thoughts that recur again and again, following different patterns.
Thinking negative is like wearing dirty and dark glasses, because it fogs our vision and gives us a highly distorted image of reality. When you are thinking negative, you can’t find joy in life as your entire mindset convinces you that joy and happiness are not an option for you, and even if you are feeling some happiness, it is only temporary.
Negative thinking leads to negative actions, which creates a wall between you and your friends or other people around you. No matter how kind and open others may be to you, you will not be able to trust them if you do not have a positive outlook towards life. Your negativity will lead you into thinking that their kindness isn’t real, and their good behavior will not last for long.
An especially harmful situation arises when a person enters a stage that is sometimes called the ‘negative negativity’. In this situation, a person is aware of his negative thinking-so much so, that he actually knows the exact pattern of his negative thinking. He is aware that this thinking is destructive for him, and thus he goes into guilt for feeling so negative. And this trap of guilt proves to be even more harmful as it leads to more of negativity.
Yes, it does sound grim. This situation promotes negativity to a higher degree, and creates a spiral. Negative thinking patterns aren’t naturally acquired- they are learned.
When we get the light of positivity, we can see the negativity clearly without giving ourselves a bad time mulling over it. This is when we decide to change ourselves and our way of thinking. It lightens up the heavy burden on our personality.
Here are five great ways to defeat negative thinking:
1. Use breathing techniques
After every few minutes, pause your work and just breathe. Concentrate on your breathing and feel yourself breathe. Enjoy the goodness of things that surround you. If you do this often, you will be more in touch with your inner self and feel tremendous energy, which will purify any negative thinking.
2. Keep a log about negative thinking
Carry a notebook with you. Whenever you feel that you are experiencing a negative pattern, just note it down along with whatever thoughts you are having and the cause behind them. Then after a couple of weeks, sit down and go through that notebook. Try to find some common themes that encourage negative thoughts in you. This will make you more aware about yourself.
3. Do stuff that you like
Take some time out from your schedule and enjoy your life a bit. Do things that make you happy. Everyone wants to be happy, but they mostly can’t find time for it. Take a vacation this weekend, go for long walks in the park, go out for dinner or movie, or get a relaxing massage. Just slow down the pace and give yourself some peace of mind.
4. Appreciate the little things
Learn to see the brighter side of life. Be thankful for who you are and what you have. Keep in mind that no matter what happens in your life, it is still possible to gaze up and behold the magic that is around you. Acknowledge the simple joys of life, like feeling of cool breeze on your skin, or how amazing the universe is. When you appreciate goodness, negativity dissolves away.
5. Spread the joy
Kindness never goes unrewarded. But somehow we all have forgotten this old saying. It is the greatest medicine that eases aching minds and hearts. When you make someone else happy, you get happiness in return. Generosity puts a sure end to negativity and generosity doesn’t have to be always shown. Try leaving the best parking spot for someone else. Or maybe clean up the office lunch room someday, and don’t let anybody know who did it. Doing small things like these will wash away your negativity and you will start feeling good about yourself.
If you be kind in this way, you release positive energy. Even if nobody gets to know about your generous acts, it will cheer you up and you’ll feel better from the inside. This will make you less negative and you will experience personal growth. Follow these simple points honestly and you’ll find a huge difference in less than a month.
Life is perpetual, creative and expansive. It continually creates itself within each moment, so remain attuned to the energy of the moment.
Tony Fahkry – About the Author:
Visit www.tonyfahkry.com for weekly video updates on health, personal development and self awareness matters. I lead you to create lasting health and vitality – more energy to make things happen; maintain a healthy body to look and feel good permanently and create a NEW health destiny.
“The more and more each is impelled by that which is intuitive, or the relying upon the soul force within, the greater, the farther, the deeper, the broader, the more constructive may be the result.” Edgar Cayce
Intuition is defined as ‘a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.’ The word ‘intuition’ comes from the Latin word “intueri”, which means to see within.
Intuition has been referred to in many different ways including sixth sense, following your heart, guidance, inspiration and inner wisdom. However we may choose to refer to it, the Law of Attraction explains that everyone is an extension of source energy and has access to infinite intelligence within them. Also, as everyone is unique with unique intentions and desires, everyone’s guidance from infinite intelligence is unique to them.
Guidance or intuition can come in many different forms including feelings, dreams, visions, hearing the same thing several times in a short period of time and synchronicities. However, whilst it can come in different ways some of which are outer signs you can know the significance of it by how it feels. There are also different reasons as to why you receive guidance, often it is to lead you in a particular direction, whilst at other times it is to reassure you that things are working out for you and that there is a loving universe that is aware of and assisting you.
It has been that said that guidance takes into account an infinite number of factors from a higher perspective and that usually we are not aware of all of these factors as if we were, we would be overloaded with unnecessary information when all we need is the guidance about what to do or what to think. In relation to this sometimes the guidance doesn’t seem logical, however the more people begin to pay attention to it, the more they usually see that it is assisting them. For instance as guidance is operating in a non-linear framework, someone’s guidance might tell them to meet a friend on Saturday afternoon but logically they know they can’t because they have a client on Saturday afternoon, however their infinite intelligence is taking into account the fact that the client is going to reschedule their appointment. Another interesting aspect of guidance is that usually you are not given guidance for the whole of your journey but rather moment by moment guidance for the next step.
A key part of living the Law of Attraction is developing an increased awareness of and relationship with your intuition. People are sometimes taught to listen to others, rather than to follow what feels right to them, however as they begin to increasingly follow their own guidance, they become more of their own authority in their life and to know that their unique guidance matters. Following your own guidance also leads to life being easier and more of an exciting adventure.
It can be best to begin to follow your guidance on things that are more inconsequential such as which way to walk or drive. The more you listen to and follow your guidance the more you will then having an increasing ability to discern what is guidance and what isn’t and you will gain more and more confidence and trust in your own guidance and how it is benefiting you.
Whilst guidance is always available there are several things that you can do to open yourself to receive it more. One powerful way is to firstly begin to pay attention to it and to appreciate it when you do receive it, as this will keep you in a receptive mode to allow more guidance to flow. Also, as infinite intelligence is operating on the level of love and appreciation through doing regular lists of appreciation you will have greater access to guidance. Furthermore meditating regularly clears the mind which allows guidance to be more easily recognised.
A final technique that can be useful if you have a particular decision to make, is to write down a request to the universe such as “allow me to know which direction to take in my life” and to then go into meditation. Very often through having firstly clarified and focused on the question by writing it, an answer will come to you during the unresisted time of meditation. However, even if it doesn’t come to you immediately if you do your best to stay open to receiving an answer at a later time, the answer will very likely come.
Tracy Friend – About the Author:
Tracy Friend, is a leading authority on the Law of Attraction philosophy whose profound yet practical teachings have touched the lives of thousands across the UK, Europe and the US.
She is co-founder of the Law of Attraction Centre, which was established in 2003 and is the largest and most trusted organisation in Europe dedicated to teaching the practical application of the Law of Attraction teachings.
Through proven technology delivered through workshops, groups and products including books, audios and meditation CDs, The Law of Attraction Centre’s objective is to share tools to encourage self-empowerment, improving the quality of people’s lives and helping change the world for the better.
With its base in London, UK and other communities around the UK and internationally, The Law of Attraction Centre has over 3,500 members focused on the study and practice of the Law of Attraction, with over 800 groups and events having been organised to date.
In addition to hosting weekly groups both online and offline, Tracy maintains a rigorous workshop schedule.
Tracy’s ventures also include the creation of Meditation 101 Live™, a free online meditation experience with webinars on most days, it provides a space for people to meditate with other’s from across the world. Tracy’s Creating a Wonderful Life, Living in Love, Opening to Abundance and Happy Body visualisations have been designed as tools to assist you in using the power of guided visualisation to bring all of your dreams and desires into fruition. Tracy has also produced a four part on–demand Living the Law of Attraction Online Training Course and a three part on-demand Opening to Abundance Online Training Course.
In Tracy’s one to one coaching practice she has helped people in the fields of health, wellbeing and relationships.
When Tracy is not running Law of Attraction events and coaching, she loves to travel and to continue her life’s study of human potential and well-being.